That block, that thing that you can’t describe that always seems to be standing in your way. That unknown force that pulls the rug out from under you is you.
More and more as I look back at my life I see how I have done things behind my back in front of my face to bring me to where I am now. We all have those times in life when we wonder “Why did I just do/say that?” You’re not possessed or being spoken through most of the time, you’re being nudged from within to alter your path. People guide themselves without even realizing it all the time.
I can look back over the last 3 years and see how I have guided myself for the most part to this moment. I have found the one thing that stood in my way was me. I got in my way frequently. I did it with will and intent from the inside to nudge me and alter my path here and there.
When I was 22 I started writing a fantasy novel. I didn’t do much with it for about 3 years and it was the woman I was dating at the time that encouraged it. I found a fountain of new pages flowing as the story wrote itself. We broke up. I have tried writing fiction off and on for the last 15 years. My block was the belief I couldn’t be my own muse.
I have roughly 10-15 started fiction projects that all got set aside because I let the women in my life tell me if I should keep working on it or not. Me and the French Pirate are no more. Long story, it ended friendly exchanging a last “I love you.”
Since then I have found within a new flow of creativity that has completed one set of short stories and has me about to begin chapter 5 on the first in a series of novels for an Anthology series I am creating.
My lynchpin the thing that brought it all into focus was realizing that Lynyrd Skynyrd put it best. All you need is in your soul. Not a soul mate, not twin flame, not a partner in life, not best friend, not a lover, not a muse, your soul. You have everything you need within you except maybe the patience, that you have to build through life.
The next time you feel you “need” someone, look inside and see what you can do for you today.
It’s workin’ really well for me.
I love you all.
Thank you to me for working my ass off everyday to get this far, now let the good times roll.