Continued from post 3 days ago https://ello.co/rants/post/fkftonblqwtgv9q96udpeg
So today is monday.... day three of the traditional wait to call the girl thing. Last night I got a response from the glass blower that she picked up the flower and vase and that she said it was sweet.
I texted her today and she was very pleased to hear from me as she had missed a digit in my phone number when I gave it to her. We texted back and forth, I attempted to have her join me for coffee somewhere but she was not available this evening. I informed her of my days off and said I'd get in touch with her then that would be thursday. She said that it would be better for her then.
Soo.. my heart is racing in my chest as this is so strange to me after so long being single. Part of me still wants to dive crazy fast into a relationship. I won't be making that mistake again. I have to take this slow or it will probably kill me. If I do fall in love again and my heart is broken again I will probably snap or something and end up in a rubber room dribbling my lips with my finger staring into space lost somewhere else. So for now I can't go too quick.
I gotta say though this girl is so very beautiful. She is small and petite with hair that golden light brown that somehow shimmered like honey in sunlight. Her sense of style defines a casual yet acute intelligence. I imagine her as artistic and wholesome. Someone good for me, some one who shares a passion for beautiful things. Someone to share all of it with.
When I picture her in my mind I see her as I first did from afar with that golden halo from a single ray of sunlight so perfectly positioned upon her place in time. The sand stopped falling... I felt my heart stop for a moment to long and too short at once. As I eased back into breathing I walked up to her shaking like a leaf,...
And here I am now still shaking hoping for a simple date that will lead to many more. I don't know this girl at all but I hope, (and I hate to hope) but I hope it's my time, my turn, my final accent to the apex of this mountain of life and that the slope on the other side awaiting her and I is a extravagantly beautiful, poetic tapestry of fulfilment, joy, romance, and love.
I am alone. If love could find me I might smile again. I am so very alone. Does anything in life fulfill one as empty as I am.
I am trying to figure out where all these views come from and no one follows or responds so like does anyone have any balls to tell me off for something they do...