An Encounter. Or, "of all the stars in the sky, which ratifies your laws? which sells your intentions and leaves you with rage?"
Your content poisoning finally gave way to a quiet and blissful everyday, which ended up giving you headaches.
You decide to go hunting for a Content Demon.
It's been a few months since you last saw one. You were eating a large, offensively decadent meal you dubbed "The King of Ways" after a distant dream, and the demon strutted through your patio and disrespected your furniture. To be fair, it came with the house. It didn't seem to notice you, but you still got one degree of Content Poisoning (three weeks to purge) and made a series of ill-advised wood carvings that very nearly drove your housekeeper mad. (The dude's always mad. Fuck that guy)
you head out to the Bay of Failures. Not the bay proper, it's a touristed nightmare. One of the rivers what feeds it runs through the city, has a great view of the lighting at night. Hopefully, all the tithes you did for the Demigod of Failure (tried to become a real god a whole bunch of times, continues to fail) will benefit you? How's that gonna work? Maybe it'll try to boon you with failure, thinking you like to fail, but fail at that and accidentally give you success? Really gotta stop showing up to altars out of boredom.
You're walking down the scenic path when you remember you have a daughter. Fuck, what? It's been... sixty years? No, you're not that old. Probably not. You lose track of time. Where is she?
You turn around like maybe you McFuckin' Lost It for a hot moment and she's there, but she's not, because she's not real. What is real is that the trees are different here. You remember seeing them as you approached, but now that you're here, they're not the same.
Your knees are wet. Is your dress okay? You look down.
You're standing in a reflecting pool. A LESSER CONTENT DEMON is standing atop the water on the other side.
It doesn't have a reflection. Maybe it's you? You retroactively don't notice.
You, your player, somebody rolls a twenty-sided heart for initiative. The Fourteen of Cups. How auspicious! Going first is a burden.
The content demon introduces itself. You're thinking about which weapons to use, and your brain usually statics out when people say their names anyway.
>[A]ttack [B]erate [F]lee [I]nquire [S]pell [O]ther
You lunge at the demon. Your falchion narrowly grazes the arm, but the demon seems more like an "Oh bother" than an "Oh fuck" type about it.
The demon takes its phone out and takes a picture of the two of you. #humans #lol
>[A]tatck [B]other [F]lee [I]nquiry [S]pell [O]ther
You open your mouth to ask the demon, what's up with being a demon anyway? It's obvious you came unprepared, and it's making an evening of this encounter.
Instead of saying all that shit though, one of your teeth falls out. You catch it in your hand. It's a small spring you misplaced four months ago.
The demon hovers for a moment, then buys some music off of the Internet.
>[A]TK [B]ST [F]CK [I]TP [S]TP [O]TH
Is triumph just an excuse to brag about adversity?
>[A]TK [B]ST [F]CK [I]TP [S]TP [O]TH
Your [ST]ernum colla[P]ses into your chest. Well, shit. This hurts. Your head is splitting too, but that's neither here nor there. Your player rolls a two-sided ruby; it travels six squares, indicating that you survive relatively unharmed. The DM is incredulous, but you can't grasp the reason why.
The content demons is offering you some cake. It's the birthday type, with too much icing. It's insanely obvious that the demon feels bad about not wanting the cake for the icing and hopes you take some to lessen the load.
>[A]llow the cake to be eaten, by you [B]elieve the cake is a good choice [F]riendli..friendlyly.. [f]riendshiply accept the cake [I]gnore all other stimuli but taking some cake [O]bviously accept the offer
>slam dunk on the demon
Instead, you directly press on one of your cheekbones. Movement! You will open this puzzle box yet. Gears shift inside your skull as the demon does a shoulder shrug and throws the shitty cake in the river.
<You're how many beers deep? Did you eat today?
<Don't take that shitty little tone with me! What happened to you?
>[A]ttack [F]lee [S]pell [O]ther
You replace the demon's Broca's area -- well, what you assume must be -- with a large shard of obsidian. "Resplendent! Valentines favyr the duller apostles!" You regret.. something.
The demon pulls out some pictures of you from a couple of years ago. Not too long ago to be recognized as "you" but not too recent to not be regrettable.
>[Attack [[[Flee] ] Spell] [Ot]h]er
You shimmer through the night sky in the direction of BROUMAGE. The demon fizzes after you, several squares to your KATA. The demon is laughing too hard at your.. situation, though, and lags terribly behind. For the best, really, though secretly you wish you two could have talked openly about your experiences.
You gain no experience.
You gain two levels of Content Poisoning.
A bad thing will happen to you soon.
A good thing will happen to you soon.
You consider building a solarium.