Ugh. Just got Grindred by one of those annoying headless bi-discreets. Apologies to good bi guys but you bitches need to get your shit together. We need to make room in our big gay bowl of alphabet soup for other letters -- there are tons of them on the waitlist, and you're taking up space.
You bitches act like spies in the Land of Gay, slinking around in the shadows, pretending you no speaka dee eengleesh. But seriously, being bi does not require any more discretion on the face of it than being straight or gay does, unless in addition to being bi you are a lying, cheating whore.
Now, I am a big fan of whores, as y'all know, but lying and cheating ruins whoring for all of us.
Truth is, what bi-discreet is is a quaint retrograde solution to a pre-equality conundrum Quentin Crisp described in The Naked Civil Servant:
"The parallel problem that confronts homosexuals is that they set out to win the love of a 'real' man. If they succeed, they fail. A man who 'goes with' other men is not what they would call a real man. This conundrum is incapable of resolution, but that does not make homosexuals give it up. They only search more frantically and with less and less discretion for more and more masculine men and because they themselves are, however reluctantly, to some extent masculine their judgment in these matters is for the most part physical. If you ask a homosexual what his newest true love is like, you will never get the answer, 'He is wise or kind or brave.' He will only say, 'It's enormous.'"
“Bi-discreet” is why people who identify as bi have a hard time getting any respect among us battle-hardened gays and lesbians who have smashed the closet door on our way out.
As a veteran of old-school cruising, I’m sure I’ve met my share of bi-discreets, but they all looked pretty gay, as the saying goes, with a dick in their mouths.
Look, the bisexual as exotic is over. With a big, gorgeous broad spectrum of men of all shapes, sizes and descriptions identifying as gay, there’s no need for that Mad Men fantasy of the “real man”. And I’m not just saying that to be all rah-rah gay! I’m living it, bitches. Every day.
If you’re bi, good on you! But there’s really no reason for me to assume or for you to claim that gay sex is this strange, exotic thing for you. If you’re bi, act bi, dipshit. This whole “bi discreet” bullshit to try to whip up mystique around you is so over.
And for those of you who want to bitch and moan about “bi-erasure”? Talk to your little bi-discreet buddies. Functional bisexuality that requires that everyone keep your secret for you is self-erasure. You want that B in LGBTQ? Grow some balls(or a bagina).