so it occurs to me some of you are not huge perverts like i am and you don't troll the darker places of the internet. some people prefer to stay in the shallow end of life's pool. i understand.
so as a public service, i bring you BAD DRAGON sex toys, for the anthropoid bestial in all of us. their specialty is dragon-shaped dildos. (i heard the Puff is the model, since, ya know, he hasn't gotten much work since 1978.)
however, they have a variety of mythical and real creatures. take the t-rex dildo for example. it comes in a variety of sizes.
there's the shark penis dildo, for people like me who think the SHARKNADO franchise is soft core porn.
BUT WAIT! it's not just for the ladies. there are things to stick your penis into as well.
as well as penis sheaths for the man whose woman prefers the animal inside. the urban fantasy roleplay possibilities are ENDLESS.
anyway, there's more. i'll stop here because i know you're gonna check it out, even though only about half of you will actually admit it.
p.s. ya'll need to keep me writing so i can continue these PSAs.