I'm about to say something inflammatory --
I don't think President Obama is a good spades player.
Think about it for one second -- we've gone six years without hearing one word about how the nation's first African-American President plays Spades. During his early years in office, the media loved to ask him questions about the more urban aspects of his personality. We know, for instance, who his favorite rappers and what's on his playlists. We've met his crazy black preacher, and we've seen him in his tan Easter suit. But when it comes to Spades, all we know is that he plays the game regularly in order to relax:
Fifteen hands of Spades. When he was waiting for word on whether or not he'd successfully killed Osama Bin Laden, he played fifteen hands of Spades. But surely, if the President had won the majority of those games, we'd have heard about it. It would have been the little bit of flourish the reporter included in the story. Just a quick browse through Google shows tons of news articles mentioning the President playing Spades, usually while traveling on Air Force One, but I haven't been able to find a single mention of who actually won all those hands.
The Tea Party spent more than two mind-numbingly long years demanding to see his "long form birth certificate," and the President eventually obliged. Surely this question is just as legitimate as birther-ism?
Where's the back of the envelope with the scores on it?
Somebody needs to show me the receipts.
In my heart of hearts, I feel like President Obama probably misreads his hand all the time. When he should be bidding 8 or 9 and preparing for a Boston, he's probably bidding a 5 or a 6 and throwing off the whole table. Or, he bids 1 or 2 when he could get away with a nil. And, I'm just gonna say it, I bet he doesn't play with the two of Spades as a high card.
I bet she rocks the card table.