RED STONES AND MARBLE, MARBLE AND RED STONES
Can you hear me?
The signal is weak I know, it’s just reflecting my actual state I guess.
But I will attempt to say it quickly, to formulate it somehow.
I am good (and not so much).
As you may know, I am still standing
I am standing here still, standing here still, standing here still.
Can you get it?
Anyway, I am contacting you because I feel concerned and slightly worried about my future.
But enough about me, how are you?
Where did you disappear?
Hope you are having a nice time, wherever the road has taken you to.
I believe it’s more quiet than here, which is not difficult to achieve thought.
Here they are passing by every day, up and down to the Main Train Station, the loud and violent cranes, machines and trucks, the people marching, yelling, screaming, the bored hopeless pensioners, the public transport doesn’t work again, the sellers of secondary raw materials yelling through their noisy megaphones, the soldiers parading, some animals occasionally too…
Sometimes I hear them, sometimes I am too focused on what’s going on inside of me.
‘Cause, you see, sometimes after midnight I hear sounds:
The echoes of the claps of the heavy boots marching through the empty wide halls, thus these terrible, guts-ripping and soul-sucking screams and calls for aid, creeping laughter and silly songs
All mixed and mingled, all whispering, I hear them counting:
91, 92, 93, one name and then the other it continues….
96, 97, 98…and then suddenly BOOM
I don’t hear, see nor feel anything anymore.
From this point on I am counting in reverse.
I am reducing, I am waiting for that zero point to come,
I am waiting one more year, I am waiting maybe three, five or seven more, who knows ?
In the space of transit time is delicate, time is tricky, time is a thief.
I heard the rumor that I am going to become the Hilton Hotel soon
I don’t know exactly how to feel about that one.
The epilogue of the large paradox scale it would be for sure,
But after all, isn’t my entire lifetime marked by sequences of ambiguities and paradox plot-twists?
So I was thinking, maybe there’s no more theatrically consequential way for me to finally die,
If it could be said for the mass made out of rocks, marble and broken glass…
Oh rocks and marble, rocks and marble, rocks an marble,
Young and shiny again.
I am dreaming of multiplying and dislocating myself
Of traveling in different directions on the World Map,
All at the same time
All with the same respect and equality.
Wish I can go back to where I came from
For that can never happen and it’s not longer possible
Anyway, I might need some help soon for my crisis of identity
But I don’t see exactly how you can help me
So my dear just use your legs,
Use it to run as far away as possible
Never to stop
Never to come back
But if you ever wish to visit me
I will be probably still standing on the same place
Hopefully not, but probably yes
So see you around somehow…
The voices are calling so I must go
I must go back now.
*Image of the Building B (Ministry of Defense), from the period of 2000's.
POSTCARDS FROM/TO  POST-APOCALYPSE*
Generalštab - General Stuff of the Armed Forces of Serbia and the Ministry of Defense
/ bombed on April of 1999 during the NATO (The North Atlantic Treaty Organization) aerial bombing during the operation entitled "Operation Allied Force", against FRY (Federal Republic of Yugoslavia),
as ending the Kosovo War (1998-1999).
Even thought the reconstruction of the left part of the building (building A) started in 2015, it has been announced in 2017 that the Building A will be completely demolished.
Following its own lifeline in the period after bombing, casting the spell of the dark and heavy aura around itself,
the destroyed building complex spontaneously became a monument of the victims of the so-called "NATO Aggression", slowly casting in the oblivion its multi-context history,
from the time it was built during 60's in SFRY (Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia) under the name of Federal Secretariat of National Defense, and constructed using contrasting materials: the robust, dark red Kosjerić (village in Western Serbia) stone, and the white marble slabs from the Iceland of Brač (Iceland in Croatia),
to the times from the beginning of 90's when it had became a headquarter of the Yugoslav People's Army (JNA) ruled by nationalistically-oriented government of the Serbian president Slobodan Milošević, and occupied for the siege of Vukovar in Croatia 1991, and then year after in the newly formed FRY (from 1992-2003), the headquarter of the army of this newly formed state and occupied for the sieges and war crimes done during War in Bosna and later in Kosovo.
In 2018, the building is still standing out above the city landscape of the very center of the city, just around five minutes from the Main Train Station, remaining not just as the shadow of the past times, but also as the mediation point of the non-discussed accurate problematic in postwar (post)transitional and post-communist space of the Serbian society, and as a threat to the potential future events.
*Name of the research-based multimedia art project I'm working on at CCC (Critical Curatorial Cybermedia) Master Programme of HEAD (Haute école d'art et de design) since September of 2017 in Geneva, Switzerland.
The entry point of the research was based on my personal memories and complex relation and proximity to the concerned building, using it as a starting point to discuss relations on the micro-macro geopolitical levels, as a person belonging to the generation of people born and raised during the 90's Balkan Wars in Serbia, and as a case study of the generation that hypothetically feels the urge to comprehend and take position regarding the past historical events, in order to fully grasp and accept its own identity.
This building is thus used as the space of mediation and materialization of multilayered complexity and self-reflections regarding my identity, opening the problematic of the generational and collective relations to the personal and empirical, and opening the potential question of the such thing as the general voice and statement about the whole generation of people and their position in the constellations of today.
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