When I looked at her I loved her.
But when I saw her I hurt.
Not because she had done anything wrong,
I hurt because I could not be with her.
That is the critical difference between looking and seeing. When I look I do not peel back my first emotional response. I sit and I look and I love. It is when I see, that an unpleasant feeling begins to stir inside me. When I see, I feel everything I have ever thought about her. I remember each time I have cried because I cannot have her. And then tears start to well up in my eyes, for I know that she will not be with me. Not for a long, long time. I realize once more that I cannot touch her. I cannot kiss her. I cannot hold her. Not for a long, long time.
But then I take a step back,
And I remind myself that everything is temporary,
And I will make it through these next long stretches of time, just as I have made it through them before.
And I will be okay,
And she will be okay,
And we will all be okay.