Nothing is working RIGHT today. Or -- maybe I mean nothing is EASY, and it's disappointing.
My early-morning coffee date went two-and-a-half hours and focused on hard topics (adoption, divorce, custody). It used a lot of my energy and I'm not sure how to recharge.
I sat down to work after coffee and logged in to a course that has apparently expired despite the $750 lifetime access I paid for. Because of this, I can't work on the business objective as I wanted to until the course admin gets back to me.
I'm meeting for lunch with a friend whose mother is dying of a terminal illness; I have a completely tone-shift "fun" obligation immediately after.
With the way my day is scheduled, I don't have a window to exercise despite increasing panic over my weight.
I am full of dread. My energy is gone.
This -- this whole thing, all of the above -- is a negative attitude.
I know this because at my last job, any time I brought up problems without offering and enacting a solution, I was told I had a negative attitude. I was told this was a problem. I was told I was a problem. I was told only I could fix the things that I saw as wrong.
At this time, I can admit that I am aware of my negative attitude. I know that only I am responsible for my negative attitude. I acknowledge that I am responsible for all of the items above that are making my day difficult.
But what happens when we don't know what the solution is? What happens when we've done all we can in one circumstance and are waiting on someone else? What happens when we feel helpless? What happens when we're not sure if a negative attitude is part of the human condition, or laziness? Am I lamenting a shared human affliction, or indulging in self pity?
I have no idea.
