Over the years, while still yet being young, I have had my fair share of interactions with drugs. From pharmaceutical to your friendly neighbour, I have encountered plenty. Yet there is one commonality in all of these activities, which is, the reason to why I do them. With whichever you try you can always ask yourself why you’re engaging yourself in these, the answer may vary but usually it’s a question I tend to ask myself. My answers can vary but growing up I usually did them for one sole purpose, which was so escape. Sometimes there was the rare occasion where I was having a good day and decided why not, but general, and to this day, it’s to cover something up. It’s a sad statement to admit to the public, especially on a site where anybody can ready this and definitely create their opinion of me, but I can say that it is on here that I am one hundred percent honest and truthful, to which I find most often quite relieving. Thank god my mum doesn’t understand how computers work but nonetheless I find it very satisfying to reveal things on here of which I hardly tell myself. So yes, I could be classified as a drug addict. Well more a seasonal drug addict, usually more so in colder weather, but I had a teacher once say to me ‘if you want to know if you’re making a correct decision, ask yourself why you are doing it. And the reason will tell you all.’ He was entirely right. So now, every single time I take something, I constantly ask myself why which has ironically helped me ween off some of the crap. It has made me more conscious of the decisions I make and more aware of my reasons and pains. It has made me see why I suffer certain afflictions and why I try to hide them. Recently it has helped me come to terms with a lot of my issues. So in a weird way I thank drugs, for being there to bring me down, and back to truth. We need some reason to see things differently in life and I think substances as such can be -not the greatest obviously- but a handy way of determining your habits. Through thick and thin I look at my problems as only reasons to grow stronger. They have brought me towards both the darkness and light and for that I am very grateful. I wouldn’t have loved the people I have loved and fought with the people I did. It wouldn’t have made me a stronger person -and the slightly insane that I am, thank god- and it wouldn’t have made me grow up to be the woman that I am. So I don’t look at all of these experiences as negative, I look to them with and for wisdom.
