I confess to Ello that I have sinned. My last confession was never. While my sins have not been mortal, they have been ... abundant.
For instance, while I did eat a hamburger today without the bun, I ate what some might call a "butt-load" of fries from Islands Restaurant. And what did I wash those fries down with? Copious amounts of Diet Coke. I mean, we're talking somewhere on the order of eight refills here before the waiter slapped the check down in front of me as if to say "enough."
This morning, I ate two sweet danishes from Ralphs. Ralphs, Ello.
I know that I can't ask for complete understanding, but I do ask for your forgiveness when I say I will try my best never to commit such heinous crimes -- against myself or humanity -- again.