While I don't disagree that what we do comes from who we are I have to disagree with you about how we become who we are:
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
I don't think you can sit around dreaming about who want to be, you have to do something and by the process of doing you become.
If you had to give a presentation tomorrow about a complex topic you wouldn't just stand up and start talking and hope you said everything you needed to say. No, you would practice.
About the other stuff, I'm not sure what to say. I would say 'see a doctor' but I don't think you will. Depression can be caused by something physically wrong with the body. Just something to consider.
As for me, I guess I'm struggling with relevance. If I want my website to be about a certain topic, where do I begin? I always feel like I have to begin at the beginning. What is the beginning? Is it where I introduce myself and my purpose? Is it the history?
I've notice a lot of books like to start with the history and so I started doing some research. Then I encountered this idea about living like your dying. I encounter this idea a lot but for some reason I thought of this post about the history and asked myself if I thought my target audience would really care. I don't think they would.
I continued to work on it anyway with the idea that I just a need to put something up for my sake. Just take that first step. No one is watching right now anyway. It's just practice. I can do this.