I get depressed. Sometimes, I get depressed real bad.
Lately, I've been getting depressed infrequently enough that, when I got pissy and aggravated for no reason two days ago, I had to remind myself, "Oh! Yeah. I get depressed! This is that." (Which, on balance, is an AWESOME revelation to have had.)
Then, yesterday, I was - you guessed it - still pissy and aggravated, and now, really, just DOWN, and I had to go out to a thing, with people, because I said I would and because that's part of our strategy to grow our business. (I had an okay time. It was good to get out of the house, and sit in the sun for a bit. Also? All organic chocolate-chip cookie, chocolate ice cream sandwich. HELL YEAH.)
And here's the other thing I realized. Just because I can identify it, and just because I have a handle on it, doesn't meant it can't still hit HARD. It does. HARD.
And it's not by choice. Believe me. It's part of me - but I didn't choose to feel this way. What I do about it, and how I choose to act relative to it - that's up to me. And through a lot of work, and a CRAP TON of help, I'm WAY better at making good choices around it.
What I do with my life is my responsibility. Having depression is not, nor is it my fault, or something I did to myself.