The Unfortunate Life of the Sarcastic
Mental note to self. Maybe back off the sarcasm even if I have no intention whatsoever of causing offence, some people don’t get it. A colleague asked for assistance in fixing a group of spreadsheets (used by multiple untrained users) that fed a larger pivot table, whatever that is. I looked into her big deer like eyes, and I said “These sheets remind me of an out of control space station hurtling towards the surface of the sun." She burst into tears! ” Who cries over spreadsheets?" Maybe when your cardiologist leans over your body in the operating theatre and asks you if there are any last questions? Don’t ask, “Is it ok to smoke in here?” When you are about to receive 200 volts through your chest, don’t hand the young cardiologist a drawing of you in a large toaster. When the skin specialist asks you to fill out an important form, don’t put, Relationship to Georgette….”First Wife”. No one liked that one. Even a nurse I thought I was getting on quite well with, asked, “Lex Mason, what do you prefer to be called?” “Hmmmm, how about Sharon , that’s a nice name.” I said. She put me in a bed under an airconditioning outlet, it was winter. I do however, admire a master or mistress of the craft. I brought some photos in to show a colleague. I said, ”I hope I am not boring you with these photos?” She said, “Aw, you don’t have to bring in photos to bore me.” Exquisite.
#writing #sarcasm #halfwit #halfnelson #halffull #cardioversion #doctors #life #medical