Classic Country Fried Rubber Chicken
This recipe is over 22 years old. I came up with it when my wife was overseas and I was looking after our eight year old son. Enjoy. Lex’s Classic Country Fried Rubber Chicken • Take two large chicken breasts and roll in salt, honey, peanut paste, olive oil, chilli and anything else you can find in the fridge. • Allow to marinate for 30 seconds. • Heat fry pan to 800 degrees, add oil and throw in chicken. • Begin reading sports page or watch TV news if you do not have newspaper handy. • Blister on one side till smoke alarm sounds. • Turn over, open windows and doors, take battery out of alarm. • Check centre of chicken for pink colour. If still pink turn on grill. • Set grill to medium Chernobyl, introduce chicken to grill and wait for smoke alarm to sound. • After realising battery not in alarm, turn when black. • Item should now resemble a chicken mud crab. Remove blackened shell to liberate white chicken again. • Check centre of chicken for pinkness. Damn! • Cover chicken with aluminium foil and smash with hard cover Thesaurus. This will tenderise meat whilst removing annoying moisture and make it thinner so it might finally cook in centre. • Fire up microwave. • Set microwave to Warranty Void and allow to cook for 10 minutes. • Success is measured by rebound distance when dropped from 30 cms on to kitchen bench. You are looking for a rebound distance of approximately 5cms. You’re done, along with the chicken. • Serve without vegetables and a glass of slightly chilled GI cordial. Happy cooking.
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