soon, soon, soon: wake up.
7 months ago, I had a dream that nearly killed me. It was the love I never had, the love I always craved. As I woke, paralysis overtook my body. My lungs locked themselves away, and I froze for the dream love that escaped me. I made myself stop dreaming that day. Or maybe, I hid the memory of dreams as soon as daylight fought through my eyes. The thought of another love to lose scared me into my wonder-bled world. Still, the dreams found a way to seep into my daytime, changing their names and evading my scrutiny. When I stopped my pen and thought of you, I forgot to hate the feeling of a dream. For months I wandered back to my dream land in a vivid sleep-wakeness. I mazed my mind to keep from rousing, and from the panic of realizing the fantasy. Yet I still hovered in a half-conscious haze. Yesterday, you decided it was time for me to wake up. I was unlucky in my stirring, and even missed the caulking pain of over half a year ago. Instead, a creeping dread of shakes and weightlessness consumed me. It is vital that you understand, I have just woken up and I am still made of empty keyholes and lead. But just as before, I'll find my way to walk amongst the barren streets of reality with languid ease.