Well, that was awkward... I ran into someone I used to work with a long time ago at my current job today and after a few minutes of chitchat, she proceeded to ask me out. Being caught completely off guard and uninterested in her offer, but not wanting to seem mean by declining, I blurted out the first excuse that I could come up with: that I wasn't dating at the moment because I was busy taking care of a sick parent.
I quickly tried to veer the conversation to other topics, but oh no, the "sick parent" lie just snowballed. When she began to inquire what was wrong, I mumbled some stuff about dementia (which, unfortunately, does run in the family) and then gauchely quoted from King of the Hill that my parent was "...getting close to the end zone now. I got to start calling some of their plays." And, it just kept going downhill from there.
As if this wasn't enough, she was there with some friends; so here I am trying to defuse this uncomfortable situation with a heinous lie about an ill parent, all while strangers watch. So, yea. I rly rly need a few beers after all that mess.