Long day. Got back from the horses late. So I'll be briefer than I want to.
Had to take my son to work for a couple of hours. Poor little dude has strep, I later found out. Boss told me (actually quite kindly, and he understood why I had to come into the office) not to. I get why. And normally I'd have just worked from home. But I had to get some stuff done that could only be done at work. My son really helped me! He sat there for over two hours cutting out hangtags with a paper-cutter. Thus confirming my monthly musings that a six-year-old could accomplish that task :)
I've been struggling with resentment, disappointment and anger intermingling with optimism and joy. As I've written in earlier posts, I've made some decisions, and I think they're solid. I felt better, but not great the way I normally do.
I decided that when thinking about something brought up fear, anger, resentment, etc., I'll just step aside and view it as though I'm reading a book. "What will happen to our beloved, plucky heroine next?" (As the author, I've decided she's beloved and plucky, and that we're all rooting for her. )
It honest to God helped. Seriously. It's my version of stepping out of my own way. I've already set in motion the things I want. Now I have to allow them in, and I can't do that if I'm staring angst-ily at the "problem."
It's way more fun to be reading a good book than living it. Sometimes you gotta put the book down, ya know?
Hopefully this isn't a sign of a nascent disassociative personality disorder. But even if it is, if it works, I'm okay with that. I'll let you know how it goes.