Tonight's photo. It's from a year ago (one of those FB "memories" suggestions.)
Today's weather was totally different from this photo. Nice and sunny. I sat at the beach and read all afternoon. People who I knew, neighbors walking their dogs, stopped to talk as they passed by, and one friend came and sat down to read nearby (though we ended up talking for a long time). I went to the grocery store and then talked to a friend on the phone for an hour. But otherwise it was books and my dog. My laundry remains unfolded.
When I took this photo, my emotions were so very different than they are now. I've always been fairly self-reflective, but this past year has been the most intensely so. I had the time. Now, I feel much more balanced, and much better able to engage with the world from a place of inner strength and...not serenity, exactly, more like trust. I trust that I am enough. I don't need anyone else; so conversely, I'm able to let people in and find true respite in their friendship.
I'm really curious about how this year will go. Especially being occupied with a traditional job. I hope these pages find me talking about how pleasant it is to have co-workers again. I know I'm going to be talking about how it feels to know I'll have reliable compensation. (Good, I'm sure!) Making a decision to really focus on the horses and still look for side gigs, all of a sudden brought income-producing opportunities in the field that I'd wanted (real estate).
Strange. That's exactly what I asked for in an earlier post. I'm going to call it a miracle and hold that close to my heart. I'm going to ease into this thing though. Between the horses and a new 9-5, it'll be a big, but welcome, change in how I spend my days. Much earlier bedtimes, that's for sure.