Tonight's sunset. I'm still sitting with that uncomfortable feeling that something's missing. I'm in a field thickly strewn with the rubble left over from the implosion of the old structures of my beliefs and habits. There's something I'm looking for under all of that. And I don't know how to get past all of the rubble to access it. "All right Grace and Dignity, I know you're in there somewhere." It feels unfamiliar, sitting here waiting. Waiting patiently has never been my strong suit. At one time I would have found it difficult to resist sending a text or two that I knew would bring a shit-storm of distraction. Poke a few sleeping bears and see what happens. Anything but this awful silence. But not this time, I'll wait patiently. Maybe whatever's trapped will crawl out on its own, or maybe a bulldozer will come along and uncover it. I don't know yet. I just know I'm supposed to wait here for awhile.