I've been working through the events of last week, and have realized, accepted, and am learning to love the perfect storm of events that's allowing me to expand my ideas about how to navigate life.
I haven't worked in so many years, I've not had much opportunity to study myself in relationship to others. This job has given me way more than just a bit of financial breathing room. It's also given me knowledge about myself, and how I want to "be" in conjunction with with others.
I'm learning to take staying in my lane to a whole new level. Acceptance, centeredness, and the ability to honor my own preferences while also honoring others have all come to the forefront.
This has been quite an education. I have much more clarity about what I want for myself in terms of co-creating with others. I'm also beginning to understand that I can let others do as they will, without fear for how it will affect me.
It's an on-going process. But my mission to spend the week insisting on finding a way to feel happy no matter what has been a huge success so far. Of course I have my moments. But by refusing to lower my expectations for my own experience, while observing how my thoughts and feelings respond to my awareness of that goal has been truly enlightening.
"Reality" looks different to me now. It's like looking through a foggy window at things previously unseen, and unknown. Where I am has less importance than where I'm going. I can't see everything clearly yet, but I know there's something there.
No one makes me unhappy but me. Working with that truism these past few months has been a lot of hard work. But I'm further along this path than I've ever been before. This is a whole world of unexplored territory. It honestly thrills me.