Dear Lord, I'm ready for You to take me now....hour 4 of a sleepover for my daughter's 11th birthday. She's having a lot of fun, the girls are really nice kids, and I finally got the little dude to go to sleep. I'm on the mend from this cold, as long I take a shit-ton of ibuprofen, and I desperately want to sleep. I'll have to wait until 11 though, which is the official bedtime I gave them.
We all know they're not going to sleep then; but my work will be done, and I can close my door and pretend I hear nothing. (They're sleeping in the living room.)
You know how I used to talk about feeling like I was wandering in a desert, waiting for something to happen? I don't see that anymore in meditations. Now, I see myself on a road still, but one with lush grass and trees all around. I don't feel settled at all. I feel as though I'm just, finally, getting started on another phase. I feel completely different these last few weeks.
As much as I don't like having to punch a clock, I do believe the discipline was a good way to shake me out of lassitude. And today I was able to go spend money for my daughter's party knowing it was all money I'd earned. That felt amazing.
I've been under the weather much of this week, so honestly, just getting through the day and semi-enjoying it was my goal. Now that I'm feeling better, I'll be in shape to process what I'm learning through this experience. I already have some ideas of how I'd like things to be in the future. I'm enjoying the journey so far, with the exception of that one passive-aggressive person I'm filling in for. I wonder what her problem is? Hopefully she'll have her baby soon and calm down. Anyway, that's it for tonight. I need to gather my thoughts and get a good nights sleep for the first time in days. Heaven!