Tonight's post-sunset glow.
I'm ludicrously tired, but got a lot accomplished today anyway.
I'm doing better than yesterday with the whole "friend" thing. Just bear with me while I cycle through to peaceful acceptance again. Disgruntled acceptance isn't a comfortable place to be!
I'm doing this for a reason. In order to be a person who sets reasonable boundaries for herself, I have to actually set reasonable boundaries. Easier said than done, but I'm finally getting there. I gave him several years of grace period before I retreated.
Perhaps too long, but a special circumstance, as he's been a dear friend for a very long time.
But I don't want to be in a position where I'm taking energy and focus away from my other relationships (both platonic and romantic) by either having to stop and deal with the latest disrespectful nonsense, or by having to work on being "okay" with it. Better just to avoid the whole situation altogether.
If I were a more enlightened person, I could probably continue to just let him be him. But I'm not that far along yet. The personal scorn and tirades proved too much for me. So for me, the next step in my personal growth is in learning to step away from relationships that don't feel balanced in mutual respect. And to hope he gets the help he needs to live a healthy, happy and full life.