You know that saying, "If you don't have anything good to say...." That's been me this past week. I was afraid if I started writing, I get tangled up in trying to explain what I don't like about Life so I could talk about what I do like. I didn't want to go to that first part, so I said nothing at all and looked for distractions.
Today I called in sick to work. I could feel that the stress of the last few weeks was wearing me down. And because of a huge project that's due November 30, I wouldn't have any other chances for the next few weeks to lie low.
I still had to get up at 5:15, as I needed to be in my son's classroom at 8 a.m. for a presentation. Totally worth it. He was so pleased to see one of his parents there. Then I ran around doing errands that I nornally try to cram into my lunch hour or do on weekends.
Of course, I got to the barn, but later than intended. It was short, but very sweet. Now, I still have the entire weekend ahead of me, errand-free. Barn again tomorrow, dinner with friends, Sunday to go nowhere and do nothing (probably will clean the house.)
It's not that I dislike my job. I just want to get paid more to do less. Getting paid market rate for 1/2 the work week would net the same pay. So I don't think my expectations are unreasonable.
Part of why I wanted to take the day off was to clear my head. What do I want, really? If given the choice to have my old SAHM life, only with more money, I wouldn't take it over working five days a week. Too much alone time. Way too much. (Though I suppose I could volunteer at something, but my experience at volunteer-based organizations has made me avoid those.)
I don't even mind working five days a week (or more for that matter), as long as I have the freedom to also do the things I love. So what do I want? Really the question is, "How do I work doing a variety of interesting things, with interesting people, and live the life-style to which I want to become accustomed?"
I dunno, yet. I'm open to suggestions. I'll be keeping my eyes open for the answer.