Tonight, I went to LS, since the kids are out of town for the next several days. For whatever reason, I never really like the Wednesday meeting. But I try to get to them when I'm free, whether I want to or not. I'm doing really well with sobriety, and I'd like to keep it that way. Because I'm planning on getting up and starting work early tomorrow, I was just going to leave after saying "hey" to a couple of people. But then I ran into someone I enjoy talking to in the parking lot, we started chatting...anyway, did not leave right after. Had a couple of people who are also dealing with some pretty severe mental issues come up and chat as well. I really admire their willingness to keep trying. It can't be easy. So, even though, just between you and me, I'd rather avoid them, I think it would be disrespectful to simply dismiss them. They don't usually have a lot of staying power, conversation-wise, so they typically wander off after a short while. S was sitting next to a guy I've only talked to a couple of times. I introduced myself once when he was standing by himself. We talked for just a couple of minutes. Then another time, he came up to me and a friend (fond acquaintance?) when we were talking about guns for some reason. I mentioned that when I'd be out target shooting (at an old quarry up on the mountain), every once in a while the thought that I could just shoot my Dad and sister would pop into my head; and I'd wonder what that would feel like. How strange to alter my life and the lives of many others on a whim. I had the power to do that. Standing there with whatever gun I was holding. I also talked about how those thoughts scared me. Obviously I never did shoot them, and had no desire to. Just the thought that I could imagine it was disturbing. Anyway, this guy abruptly, like mid-sentence, blurted out, "I have to leave." Then got in his car and left. My friend and I started giggling, then laughing. He told me everyone has those thoughts, they just never talk about them. Fearful guy has avoided me ever since. Fortunately, he wasn't that great of a conversationalist, so I'm okay with that. Really, what does he talk about in these apres-meeting conversations? I guess I'll never know.