I think my sponsor's upset with me. It's something I'll have to talk with her about. I'm not sure exactly what it is, but probably has to do with only going to 3 or 4 meetings a week rather than 7 or more. The particular recovery program I'm in is really effective. I'm enjoying it and finding the fellowship and the approach fulfilling and helpful in my efforts. But, as I feared, the dogmatic elements of any organized institution can sometimes overtake people. I saw it in the religion I was raised in, and I'm seeing it here. I'm not planning on throwing out the baby with the bathwater. I'm already adjusting to more than I thought I would when I finally admitted that trying this on my own wasn't as effective as I'd hoped. I actually really like the program, and I'm finding it helpful. Along with everything else I'm doing. That's where a bit of a disconnect can come in. If you rely solely on the program, make it your life, all your friends, most of your identity wrapped up in it, what happens when something goes astray? You have nothing else to fall back on. I don't mind what other people do, and I'm really working the program, but it's not my life. It's not my religion. I get it. When you're looking for something, anything to save you, and find a way out, it's easy to fear stepping out of line lest you fall back into your old ways. But if the program's really working, it should, and does change you. Ease that death grip, and see what happens. There comes a point where the dogma of the program should enable you to become the thing that's holding yourself up, with an assist from the program. Not the program outside of yourself (a dogmatic approach). That being said, I think the key to my life approach is my relationship with Spirit (or God, or the Universe, or whatever you want to call it.) So program or not, I don't think life in general is just me out here by myself holding myself up. I get a lot of help and I'm well aware of it. I know from experience that rigidly adhering to a set of rules won't ultimately bring you what you seek. You have to leave room for you in there, within the context of what serves you. And that doesn't mean going on your merry way doing whatever feels "right", as sometimes you don't know what's "right" until you've tried it; but it does mean using some discernment. Balance.