Today's photo: Ranch animals. We enjoyed our break in the clouds.
Today, I had a breakthrough of sorts. I've been worrying and wondering when the job thing will all start to get easier. But at the same time I've been dreading the slog of doing the exact same thing every day. Get up, go to work, go home, hang with kids, bed. Repeat. That's really not that bad. But I feel like I wasted so many years drinking (even at the time, I felt like I was wasting my life), that I don't want to waste any more time doing something just to sustain a certain lifestyle. I want to do something because I want to do it. Pure fun.
I still plan on having a ranch someday. But I don't know how I'm going to get from A to Z. However, I'm going to put a lot more of my intention on it and keep taking the next logical step. Really, what seems the most logical is to travel and see what types of retreats and holistic wellness programs other people have. I want to be able to draw from all of those experiences to offer something unique and beneficial. How I'm going to do that isn't clear either. I'm going to focus on it and see what happens.
In the meantime, I'll still be looking for income-producing activities. I'm headed in a direction I like. I just wish I'd get there a little faster. I have to spend a lot of time meditating my worry and doubt away. All those do is distract me from doing something productive. It takes a lot of focus to shift my thoughts and feelings away and towards something light and joyful. But I'm getting better at it out of necessity. Otherwise I'd never get anything done.
So there's a huge silver lining to that doom cloud. I don't believe there's a reason for absolutely everything, but I do believe there are lessons to be learned in everything, whether it happened for a reason or not. Why waste the chance to become something new? I like new me. A lot.