Today I blocked someone for the first time ever. Cutting off lines of communication is a last resort for me. But I've reached a place where I no longer feel obligated to read one more nasty-gram or listen to another verbal tirade about how "selfish" I am. (Or be told I'm adopting a victim stance when I object to being belittled.)
Not my circus and not my monkeys. I'm not angry, just deeply worried. But engaging in the old ways doesn't feel right to me any more. And I did warn them I was blocking them. I might have been, OK, I was, a little snippy. But I didn't just disappear.
Interesting how you can love someone, yet be alright with never talking to them aagain. I hope that's not what will happen, but it's alright if it is.
I've never felt this way before. I'm so used to being angst-ridden and fearful in situations where things aren't going the way I want them to. Of course, I've had a lot of practice over the last couple of years. (Thank you?)
Anyway, the rest of my day was refreshing. A great lunch with a new contact. Both pleasant and productive. I hope to be able to work with him quite a bit in the future.
One step at a time. I've become so uaed to navigating in an obscuring fog, I'm starting to enjoy the feeling of not knowing exactly how it's all supposed to end. A novel place to be. Much more fun and relaxing, when I'm able to stay there anyway. I guess that's what they mean by staying in the Now. Hopefully I'll get to the point where I enjoy each and every moment, just because it's there.