This morning during my meditation, I asked to expand on the theme of yesterday. The way it showed up to me was that I was a beautiful garden in the middle of vast expanse of darkness and chaos (hey, I don't make up the visions, they just come to me.) People stumbled into my garden shell-shocked and in need of respite. All are welcomed. Sometimes, because of their experiences, people become violent and try to tear and rip at the garden. The garden, while beautiful, is not without it's defenses, and expels those who aren't able to appreciate the garden as it is. (Keep in mind, the garden may be a metaphor for me, but I see it as an actual garden in my mind. I wish I was an artist. I could draw it. It's pretty big, with different types of terrain, flora and fauna. It smells really good, and it is the perfect temperature. Shade and sun. Water to play in.) I've been struggling lately with people calling me kind and sweet. It sounds uncool. But posturing and pretending to be anything other than I am would: a) be a lot work and I'm essentially lazy and; b) I can see the strength in being the calm in the storm. I've also been thinking lately that it's time to stop working so hard on perfecting every little thing about myself and just practice "being". Really interesting metaphor. I'll have to meditate on this further.