Man, I had a quiet freak-out at work today. I got there in a good mood, went to lunch and then in the way back really, really struggled with feelings I couldn't exactly pinpoint. All I knew was that I wanted to leave and go to the barn. I seriously considered telling everyone I was sick.
Instead, I spent some time setting up my website (just a blog on WordPress for now) and deciding on an identifying image for cards, etc. (Below). It's a filtered picture of Mr. Jones running as fast as he can. So powerful and vital. I need to figure out how to make a logo with it.
I would work on job stuff, then fiddle with WordPress. Thank goodness I stayed. My boss breezed in. I threw my tablet in my bag and turned back to my accounting duties. Then he left, and I went back to creating the other part of my dream. That hour total I stole from work was with it. (All $20 of it.)
I'm so ready for a raise. I'm sure they're paying the temp agency what the job is worth. And I typically like to make sure they get their money's worth. But a happy K is a much better worker, and I hated that trapped feeling. So in the end, having a chance to do something productive that relieved it was better for everyone. I left work happy, glad again for this job that's brought so many new insights to me, and ready to go home and relax.
Sort of. I made my first comment ever on Reddit. (/r/relationships) Dude has an alcoholic wife. Felt compelled to offer my two cents.
I wanted to go to the barn, but I'm running on fumes. I'm looking forward to a time soon when the barn is part of my work routine. I'm not sure of the details of how it's going to happen, but I can see some steps I can take towards that goal, and I'm actively working on them. Next up, more sleep!
I'm going to bed much earlier tonight than I have been. Asleep by 11::15. Getting up "late" at 6. I'm so grateful to have the things in my life that I do. My learning experiences are becoming much less painful, now that I've learned to love myself.