This week was an amazing week. Last year, almost exactly a year ago, there was a shift in my energy, like a switch turning on, that made me just know I was done drinking. No struggle, no regret, no wishful thinking, no worry that I wouldn't stay sober this time. I was just done with the old way. And so far, the old way hasn't resurfaced at all. Similarly, this week I had that same sense of a profound shift around my boundaries. Most times in my life, when I didn't like how someone was behaving towards me, if I cared enough about them to not simply retreat, I generally would explain to myself why I didn't deserve to be treated that way. Over and over again. There was an element of querulousness and self-pity that I saw, and disliked, but didn't know how to remove it. So I'd screw up my courage, tell myself I'd survive the displeasure of the other person, and make my stand, often quite dramatically. Sometimes I even kept my resolve. Usually not. In the situation this week, I didn't have any of the sense of self-pity, or need to explain to myself, or anyone else, why I deserved to be treated the way I wanted to be treated. I just wanted it. No explanation or apology for my wants required. No anger, no drama, no "good-bye forever". Simply, "never, ever again". I actually had occasion to use it with two different people. It came so naturally, no struggle, no forethought, just, "Hey, I don't want to hear this anymore." One was more of here I stand thing than the other, and long overdue. I was beginning to wonder if I'd ever get there. The one last night was merely addressing a worry that a good friend of mine expresses, and tends to go on about. "Hey my beloved D, when you fuss and worry over things you can't help me with, you freak me out too, and then I'm less able to focus on the solution rather than the problem. Would you please not do that. I hope to be able to share my concerns about work and how I'm addressing them, with you without having to calm you down." He got it right away and we carried on happily. (Had a fabulous time at dinner. He and his boyfriend took me out for my birthday.) I finally learned how to put on my own oxygen mask first.