To-Do List for Friday, October 3, 2014:
1. Rule the world.
2. Release a line of disposable diapers called Pompers, which are diapers with festive pom-poms on each side.
3. Market the product to pregnant cheerleaders.
4. Comment on the extraordinarily large number of beers there are on the wall.
5. Remove one of them and hand it someone nearby.
6. Once again comment on the extraordinarily large number of beers there are on the wall, taking into account that one had recently been removed.
7. Think to myself, hey, this would make great lyrics to a song!
8. Pitch an idea to Hollywood for a movie called “Hellves” about demonic creatures forced to make toys for children by a dyslexic evil entity named Satan Claus.
9. Yes… all the toys would, of course, be dangerous with sharp edges and small, easily swallowed parts.
10. And some of the toys would simply be dry-cleaning bags.