Informative Post #4: Etiquette
Warning: The following text is for those 18 years of age or over. This is not, I repeat, NOT meant for minors. The following text presented is advice from personal experiences and shouldn’t be taken as gospel.
Ok, so, in the beginning, this was a podcast. However, I noticed I tend to ramble needlessly, going off on tangents and whatnot. In text format, I hope what I have to say will make more sense, and will allow people to come back and reference if needed.
Etiquette. Etiquette etiquette etiquette etiquette etiquette etiquette.
Are you making notes? Good!
Etiquette in the BDSM scene is extremely important. I’m serious. “Please” and “thank you” is just the tip of the proverbial boat-killer. In the scene, lots of people have titles like “Sir”, “Mistress”, “Master”, “Maitresse”, and so on.
USE. THOSE. TITLES! Even if the person is being a grade A dickbag, use the titles. You wouldn’t believe how far into the good graces you can get with courtesy.
And, speaking of dickbags, a little courtesy can usually get them to leave you be. However, as soon as they become abusive and toxic, don’t stand for it. Get help, grab a friend, stand up for yourself, whatever you have to do. They do exist. Just avoid and move on or direct someone’s attention to the offending party.
Now, etiquette just isn’t about addressing people by their specific titles, it’s also about regular ol’ manners. Ask people if you can touch or play with them, or their sub/slave/etc. Ask about their toys and if you can handle them. Offer a cigarette (if you smoke) if you see someone about to light up, or even offer your lighter. See if someone needs help moving something or lugging their toy bag. This is stuff that will stick out in the minds of others, and helps them get a good, positive impression of you.
Finally, clean up any play areas you’ve used after you’re done. I mentioned this in another Informative Post, but it bears repeating. It’s pretty damn imperative that you help keep play areas ready to go, just so the next user can get right to doing their thing.
That’s it for this trip! Next post will try to cover some basic DO/DON’TS in the scene.