Informative post #1: Entering the public kink scene.
Warning: The following text is for those 18 years of age or over. This is not, I repeat, NOT meant for minors. The following text presented is advice from personal experiences and shouldn’t be taken as gospel.
Ok, so, in the beginning, this was a podcast. However, I noticed I tend to ramble needlessly, going off on tangents and whatnot. In text format, I hope what I have to say will make more sense, and will allow people to come back and reference if needed.
So, you want to get into your local kink scene, but don’t know how? Are you brand new to the scene, and haven’t really met anyone you feel comfortable with? These are common problems I’ve seen, and faced myself, when getting into the fetish world. Here’s a few tips to get started, and most of these will apply to kink social media sites like FetLife:
1: Find groups in your area, especially those like The Next Generation (a group generally dedicated to helping 18-30 year old kinksters get acclimated). If the group has regular munches (like going to restaurants as a group, or dinner at someone’s home), look into those.
2: Make yourself known. Engage people and ask questions, or find out the information in discussion threads. If you can’t find what you need, ask! People, especially older folks in the scene, are pretty welcoming of new faces, and will work to provide a positive experience for beginners.
3: Make a friend, or locate someone you know in the scene. Going to events the first time can be nuts. Having someone around that can help you break the ice, get introduced to veteran kinksters, and navigate the social wackiness that exists in BDSM will help immensely.
4: Don’t expect to play the first time out, but better go ready to play just in case.
5: In every social setting, predators exist. Don’t let that scare you off. Just be aware, and if someone gives you the heebie-jeebies, there’s probably a good reason. Learn to trust your instinct, and ask those you can trust about the person who is giving off the bad vibes.
6: Have fun! The first time should be memorable, whether it’s eating a burger with some new friends or getting to experience a BDSM play room, take in all the sights and sounds and don’t be afraid to interact.
That’s all for this bit. Next one will be about negotiation before a scene, and some common rules about play.