I've been pretty ill. I found out in January that I had Crohn's Disease, which, seriously, as far as diseases go, is not super bad. I was suffering from my first real outbreak of it in my colon, and, boy howdy, was I fucked up for almost 3 months. Beginning of December to the end of February, I was not doing too hot.
I could barely keep it together, some days were a blur of pain, not really able to focus, or think about anything, laying on the floor in my studio, hoping no one needed me for anything.
I lost interest in everything, just couldn't care, I had no motivation, I couldn't concentrate, couldn't keep organized, except for brief spurts where I have been working on a new album, I haven't done much outside of laying on the couch when not at work trying to get anything done.
I'm basically "normal" now, but I'm still kind of sick. This has made me realize that what I have always thought of as "normal," has been a little bit sick. I think about how I felt during the depths of dealing with my gut poisoning, and wonder if I have been suffering from a low-level form of that on and off for my whole life.
It has me thinking about how these unknown sicknesses affect the trajectory of our lives, how many people are dealing with the same thing and don't know it?
Anyway, I'm feeling better now.