Why don't you lighten up?
Actually I am getting lighter, floating up to the surface. And as I rise I have to throw off these old weights. But throw them off I have to look at them. And to look at them I have to talk about them. Like when you ask someone 'can I see that,' and you reach out with your hands to touch it. Like clearing out your old junk, it all gets a last look before it's trashed.
Loneliness is a big ugly weight that loves to add to its own mass. It grows like coral; it hosts whole colonies of emotional life; it is an investment. Your sadness and loneliness is a big investment, even as you know it may sink you, you don't want to admit it was all a waste. All that must have been for something right? And so bigger it grows.
It becomes your identity. Your loneliness keeps you company. Abandon your loneliness and... what is left when you let go of loneliness?
I have to trust I am floating up. In this space faith is the only possible guide.