Inspiration; As I cough up my ambitions, I realize I am a paper girl, easily forgotten in burning buildings.
There is a rope around my neck I didn't put there,
and with every word I speak it tightens,
until I can no longer speak to her,
But to the rope,
Asking it to tighten enough so that I can be left alone for once in my life,
But I am lying...
I do not want to hear the silence bounce off the walls like their disappointments do.
I told her things about me that only the rope knew,
And those things became the knots in my stomach, or my rope?
I am afraid she will see me for what I really am,
A paper girl trapped in a burning building,
Except the building is me...
Except the building is really a cage of my own making.
Except it was given to me as a child but not as a suggestion.
Mother, do not worry I am not lonely,
Depression is holding my hand.
Mother, I understand why you left,
Because if you look at me from far enough away,
It is as if I was never there to begin with.
Father, the bars are not cold at night,
They are made from the bottles you pretended not to drink from.
Father, I have always wanted your love but I understand it's hard to love something so replaceable.