12 May 2016
I am in New Mexico but I don't feel much like I am free. I feel contained somehow and less creative. Maybe it is the illusion that I am in control of what I spew out. I don't like the nights here; I am filled with tired but nervous energy during them. I think that change will be good, especially a change of diet which I am currently involving myself in, but I am unsure about the process behind the change. I am scared that I will be someone who I have never been before but that is really what I crave, interesting how that paradoxical dichotomy exists. We always break even, right? Wrong. I know that I am experiencing a growth I have never before seen. No amount of medicine can or will change that.