I am a superstitious person. I set an alarm for 11:11 on both ends of the day, I pray to the stripper gods (but it has to be in the right format always or else they won't accept it like teachers in high school wouldn't even grade your paper unless it was in MLA format). Last week I slammed on my brakes on an old road on my way to the highway because I saw a brilliant shooting star and I had to make sure I was perfectly still and in one place in order for space to hear my wish properly. I believe that I'll be punished every time I fuck; the more pleasurable, the worse the outcome. If anything could ever be wrong, I am always horrified that punishment from some cosmic force is eminent.
Three days ago, I was supposed to get on a plane to England to see the love of my fucking life but I didn't. I left and I didn't. A day ago, I contracted the influenza.