When I saw you on "People you may know" my heart stopped. My hands became fidgety and my breath became hitched. As if you knew I'd see the add. As if you had planned for your face to come across my dash, so my whole body would go numb. I remember back to the moment where your body was atop of mine and you gently hushed me, trying to make it seem better. I open my eyes, and my body started to shake. My OCD making its way out so I have to count every finger tip ten times to forget your memorable face ever popped up on my screen. I didn't realize I had tears seeping down my face, so when I went to cover my face with my hands it triggered the memory of the moment you forcefully kissed me, my tears soaking my shirt and you claiming you "had no idea" I was in tears. The shaking getting all too real. My body became a casket for trauma, and I knew I was about to be buried alive. I stared at your picture for a minute, wondering how you can go about your life knowing you had ruined ones trust. Knowing you scarred the thin tissue between yes and no, but I guess it's true; women have no power. I scroll to another picture, and it is your bestfriend. The one who probably has no idea just how maniacal you truly are. I kept scrolling, but my fingers just shook. My mind became clouded and I shut down. 26 minutes precisely had passed before I realized I was having an anxiety attack. Memories building am empire just to be burnt down. Your whisper became a constant void in my brain and I just hear, "Shut up! Girls would kill to be with me!" Yeah, they would. I won't, and I never did because you didn't know I was a lesbian.
So when I saw you on "People you may know" I remembered how I took my life back. How when I see you, even though it sickens me I smile. When you come into my work I no longer run to the back with tears streaming my face. I walk with a sense of pride, dignity if you will. You are no longer my horror. You don't get to scare me anymore. I've been through more, and hopefully you will see my face on "People you may know" and feel traumatized.
No longer will you be my insecurities.
So next, on "People you may know" I breathe and move on.