Some People Suck at Murder.
Keep Calm and Trim the Hedges
The ride home was painful or at least he imagined it was. Ethan couldn't really feel anything except the wind on his face was beginning to feel Melanie Kendall's fingers that one time when she. Ethan shook his head to clear his thoughts. Anyway, it gave him an excuse to break into the package he'd scored from his cousin as soon as he got to the house. He let his bike drop in the middle of the lawn and he sprinted for the hose. He popped a couple of pills with barely a sip of water. He glanced up at the window, there was that face. He could feel his fathers eyes on him. Something about the way he stared was palpable before he'd ever bothered to look up. "Fuck". He hoped the old man didn't notice what he was doing, he shut off the faucet and grabbed up his bike to stow it in the garage.
Before he could make it inside the door, his dad cut him off by blocking the door frame with his massive, effigy. That's what he was. He wasn't a real person. Not to Ethan . Just a large representation of what a man shoulda, coulda, woulda, been or once was before Mom died. Damn, he missed her. Ethan sighed. What now? "Nu uh." His father began. "You can't come in til you make yourself useful. I told you to cut those damn hedges back and rake the yard.
Ethan was waiting on Jesse to pick him up for the most epic party of the summer anyways. He didn't want to get into with his Dad right now and end up imprisoned aka grounded for some fabricated reason or perhaps his father noticing how completely fuckin' trashed he was so, he just stayed outside, uncharacteristically obedient and replied. "Yes, father, I'll get right on it." That wasn't suspicious at all. His father slammed the door. But not before Ethan heard his dad mumble. "Smartass little bastard."
With every snap of those shears he imagined what it would be like to just chop of that motherfuckers stupid head. He began to giggle just a little as every unruly branch and twig fell to the ground around his feet. He was grinning and slipping in the leaves. He was feeling NO PAIN now! He really loooved metallic, metal against metal scraping sound when he pried them apart. He kept doing it over and over again for no apparent reason. At this point he didn't know what he was trimming. His dad is going be pretty pissed when he sees the bushes. He started thinking about Edward Scissorhands and started to giggle all over. He didn't really remember how he came to be standing in the doorway but there he was and there HE was. Drunk as always. Passed out in HIS chair. HIS flat screen watching him. Sports Center or Sports Universe or Sports Centered around the Universe, whogivesafuck!!?? Ethan's phone vibrated in his pocket. He checked to see if it was Jesse this time while fighting the urge to puke. "Hurry up, Jesse"!! He angrily texted into the phone in reply to Jesse's "Bruh. OMW in 20..Jus pikd up Shan." "Great! Now I gotta piss too. Jesse I hate you so much right now. GRRR"
We've all seen someone's head get lopped off by a pair of hedge clippers in those old cartoons. You remember? Snip....THUNK! That shit was so funny when we were kids! Well, that's not what happened. He walked slowly toward the chair and slammed the hedge clippers together with all of his might. His eyes closed tight. Ethan heard his dad let out a sound like he'd never heard before! It was something indescribable. Part growling, howling, gurgling, maybe? The closest he could imagine would be a freaking drowning bear. Twin arcs of blood, like fountains began to spray from both sides of his neck like something out of a Tarantino movie. He was gonna hurl, or faint. He chose hurl as if there was an actual conscious choice. He retched under his arm while trying to keep some sort of control over the hedge clippers that his fingers seemed to be glued to. Then all of sudden he felt his grip sliding from the handles and he couldn't hold on to them! He HAD TO HOLD ON TO THEM! He felt faint, sweaty now. Ethan began to stagger back. Slipping in his own vomit, blood and slabs of carved off flesh that looked like ....like....leaves??
Everything felt suddenly cold, numb, so quiet. His phone vibrated in his pocket again. He dropped the hedge clippers on the ground into the pile of leaves and shuddered. What was he ever even thinking?? Acid and Xanax DO NOT mix. Holy shit what the ACTUAL FUCK ?? He pressed the phone icon instead of replying to whoever's text that he didn't even bother to look at. When Jesse answered the phone He talked into it way too loudly. "DUDE! PICK ME UP, NOW!! I DON'T CAN'T GO INSIDE. I CAN'T REMEMBER IF I KILLED MY DAD OR IF I'M JUST TRIPPIN' BALLS!!" Jesse uncontrollably laughed into the phone.